Losing Me
2005-03-05, 7:41 p.m.

I was talking to Sharon last night, explaining I don't like the way I've been feeling lately. I really miss my old self, I liked the worry, the stressing and the confused state of my mind.
I'm sure I'm in a much better place mentally, but damn, I don't like who I am.
I feel dull and my life seems so boring. I never felt this the whole 9 years that I've been home.
I've not been doing any of old things...including coming in and updating, pouring my frantic thoughts out.
I'm really hating myself and life. Its as if these meds have taken my imagination away.
I am not happy with the results but geez louise, I'm normal.
I feel like I lack character, I feel like a cardboard cut out. I don't feel like me.
Nothing seems to frazzle me anymore.
The lust of life has left.
Jesus, feeling like this I may just become a drinker again. At least then I feel a little of my old animation.

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