Baltimore and More
2005-01-17, 11:54 p.m.

Happy Martin Luther King Day. What a great man. Such a shame there isn't more men to stand up for the moral conscience of our nation.
I really enjoy reading Thomas Sowell. He gives me much pause for thought and I love that he writes without anger.
I read a quote by Justice Clarence Thomas, in regards to desegregation -"It never ceases to amaze me that the courts are so willing to assume that anything that is predominantly black must be inferior."
I usually poo poo about the self perception of prejudice of the Black communities, but holy shit, smack them up the side of the head with soft prejudices by way of giving them breaks. I really think that the NAACP are the ones holding themselves in a self state of inferiority to a certain extent. I can honestly say, I don't really take much notice of race or ethnicity, till I've gotten to know you, but hey, I'm French, so I make fun of you all equally. I'm also a Newfie, which is the same as being a Polack or an inbred retard.....
A lot happened in regards to my mom's visit last week. I've been trying to sort it out and "laying my rocks down" as my sister would say. I might also add, lots of whiskey. Its about the only way I can lay those rocks down; can't be holding rocks if you got yourself a cup of whiskey now can you.
The lamb turned out wonderful.
Before she came, I thought I'd go upstairs and attempt to make myself feel better by putting on some makeup and doing my hair. It really irks her that I hardly ever wear it and that I just wash my hair and let God decide if I'm having a 'good hair day' or not.
I was upstairs blowing my hair dry, so I didn't hear her come in. As my usual routine, I stand in front of the mirror having mental conversations with myself...but with much facial expression.....she caught me and I was so embarrassed and immediately felt at a disadvantage.
She's really aged and it sort of scared me seeing her that way.
The visit didn't begin at all in the way I thought it would and then again, I was feeling very ill.
She napped, I had given her one of my nerve pills because she was so upset after driving the turnpike. I had errands to run and wanted to stop at the bakery to buy some pastries for when she woke from her nap.
By the time I got back home, everyone was coming home from school and work and mom was up then.
They all kept her busy while I prepared the dinner. We had to eat rather early because Vin had karate and I had a PTA meeting. So I still didn't have much time with mom.
Mom went to karate with Tim and Vin and I went to the meeting.
When I got back Dawn and her family were here....anytime Kaden is around, there is lots of chaos, enjoyable, but still chaos. It was late by the time they all left and mom and I were both to tired to talk for any amount of time.
Actually, the only time we really said anything was when I told her I wasn't choosing sides between her and Wayne. That I loved them both and worry about them equally.
That was it.
Before we left to drive to Timonium, she tried giving me her ruby ring. I told her I didn't want it, give it to someone else. She also had a pair of earrings with her jewelry that my father had given to me for my 13th birthday. I did take those, and said I'd only take what belongs to me.
The ride down was very foggy so not much conversation, mostly spoke on the cell phone to my brother who was meeting us and to Tim who was following behind.
After meeting my brother at the arranged spot and him telling me how fat I was and my telling him he looked like a homo, he said that we're only 12 miles from Baltimore, lets hit a corner bar and have a bite to eat. I made sure he was paying....none of us like parting with the dollar and I made sure he was buying me VO and not National BO!
It was weird driving down Fayette Street. Such a long long I guess. We drove through Joey's neighborhood and it was sort of sad seeing many of the places I use to go to all boarded up. He lives near
Patterson Park
and the neighborhood is going through another change. This time better.
God how I have missed Baltimore! It was wonderful walking into a real corner bar, seeing jars of pickled onions and sausage gracing the shelves along with pork rinds and other standard liquors and such. I had my first bag of pork rinds ever that day and damn they taste good. I've always been to embarrassed to purchase such items and had the bag sit in front of Tim...the healthiest one in the bunch!
Johnny was playing Keno[?] and hit it for $350 on his 1st ticket. So Frank the bartender was really running his ass off for us after that.
Johnny brought a friend along to drive his car back to Virgina and Johnny was driving mom's for her. Johnny's friend went and got Joey because he was doing some renovations in the neighborhood.
When Joey came in, I went over and gave him a hug. It felt good, didn't feel like any bad feelings had happened between us and I was refusing to allow any old hurts mar the moment. Mom on the other hand, was getting all weepy and saying how happy she was to see us all together again. I told her to just hush, that it was the whiskey getting her all emotional. She listened to me, but on occassion, I'd look over and see her looking pleased.
After lots of whiskeys, we decided to walk on over to Joey's. We got there and ordered these huge ass crab cakes and jumbo crabs. We ate the crab cakes and decided to head to Romans for more to drink and sandwiches.
Tim switched to coffee at this point.
My neice came with us to Romans and she left the bar to go outside. She was gone, for what I felt was too long, so I went out with her. She was okay, just talking to some of her friends. By this time it was dark and the rats came out. Oh my God!!! I have never ever seen so many rats as I did that night and they were huge! No wonder all the bars have cats and even my brother has cats and he has never been a cat I know why.
I was talking to Alisha's friends and mom then came out and she was cringing over all the rats and went back inside.
After we were done eating, mom takes off her ruby ring again and tries giving it to this time, I'm all mellowed out and say yeah, okay and put it on my finger. I then tell her she may as well give me the bracelet to match it....I took them both....but I'm mailing them both back to her....I can't take her jewelry.
Went back to Joey's ate some crabs and left.
On the trip back, I said to Tim -big difference in your family and mine, huh? Now you know why I come undone being around your family.
Sometimes, his family makes me want to puke from all that damn sweetness and shit. But most times I just feel my damn nerve around them. Like I stink or something, or worse....I'm that one you gotta take pity on.
The first time my FIL met my stepdad, was during the time when Wayne was drinking a lot. George, my FIL, came down around 7:30 in the morning or perhaps earlier, and Wayne was in the living room drinking a beer. Wayne held the bottle up and said he didn't know where I kept my coffee.
Tim said were all alike, my brothers and I. We are all so snippy and snappy with each other. I didn't even think we were snippy with each other that day...but he said we were and that its like little firecrackers, they snap and all is back to normal afterwards. He also couldn't get over how we all do a prescription exchange with each other and not bother to ask about adverse side effects.
Pffft...what a puss.
There is more, but I'm poop'd out.

Wondering - 2008-10-26

emailing - 2007-06-11

Little This & Little That - 2007-03-23

SHOE - 2006-12-12

VINNY AND KNARLES - 2006-12-09

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