I'm The Toilet Paper
2006-01-24, 5:07 a.m.

20 minutes into my shift I had to pull my pepper spray. I didn't spray, but when I shook the can, my reputation carried the course and the person secured immediately.
One of my major pains in the asses is back at jail. As I had my can pointed and readied, she stated I can't spray because we have pregnant females on the block. As my can is pointed, I tell her to shut the fuck up and that the chemical is 100% natural and she'd be getting it next.
The consequence of one of the females is 3 meals of "Loaf". That girl threw food at another inmate and almost got me. Loaf is all your food pureed together and then baked.

Happy Birthday to me! I'm 47 today. Matty and Dawn forgot all about me. Woe to me.

The one thing I love/hate about the shift I work is that you have to deal with everyones leftovers.
Don't get me wrong or think me smug, but the reason I chose this shift is the one on one contact you have with the inmates. It doesn't really matter to me that I have to wipe up after the first shift. The ladies were pissed when 1st shift pulled their tv today and we were left with the wiping.
What truly puts the irk in the jerk is having to deal with the white shirts and whether they deem the situation worth writing up.

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