2006-03-29, 3:10 a.m.

I'm in search of a dog. My interests lean towards a Newfie or a Tibetan Mastiff, each come with major drawbacks: Newfies have a bit of an undesired smell/odor and the Tibetan's tend to eat your furniture, walls, etc...

My reputation is such at work, that when I yell, "SECURE", they hit the deck, duck and cover.
One of my Partners last week encountered a bit of a problem with the General-Population girls. I didn't hear/respond to it until it was at blows.
I unlock the door and see my Partner standing in the midst of yelling, screaming and fighting. Way to much to take in at a quick glance, so I just yell at the top of my lungs for everyone to secure. Damned if they all didn't do just that.
As I was yelling secure, backup calls were being sent over the radios and by the time I had my can pulled, about 8 or 10 huge Officers come running in.
When the guys came on the block, most of the population was secured to their bunks and cells. The only thing you could hear was the clanging of the gates and the radios.
Who'd of ever thought I'd beable to snap people into compliance so quickly?
Once the Union crap is resolved, I want to sign up for the C3RT (CorrectionalEmergency ResponseTeam); it's like a SW@T team, except it's in a prison.

The new girl is still here. She cracks me up.
She is on her period at this time and told me she can't wash her hair while she is on it. I just look at her, not really wanting to ask why, but I do.
She tells me that if she should wash her hair during this time of the month, she'll bleed to death and die.
Oh Lordy Jesus, help me!!!!
I tell her she can wash her hair if she wants to and she won't die.
She hasn't washed it yet, nor will she stop placing the used toilet tissue in the waste basket instead of the toilet.
I tell you, Puerto Ricans have some really strange habits.

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