2005-05-20, 8:19 p.m.
A million and one thoughts run through my mind while I shower. Things I want to toss out and into here so it leaves me alone.
In the shower I feel as if I'm schizophrenic and having some type of cognition over-load. Sort of like that Robot from 'Lost In Space' squawking "Danger Danger". The voices are certainly not the voice of reason.
Work is still going good for me. I'm finding myself to be the whore for the dollar and snag as many doubles as I can. When not working, I'm doing something for the school.
Tuesday I'll have the pleasure of going on a field trip with all the 4th grade classes. That will also be the same day as Matty's National Honor Society Banquet...same menu as the NHS's Award Banquet.
Ahhh, how I love the palate of this Anabaptist area.
I drive the one person I work with on 3rd shift crazy. She can't deal with my hyperness. 1st shift is good for me and the other CO's let me be the 'runner', meaning I'll check the perimeters, escort the ladies where they need to go, do head counts...whatever, as long as it keeps me moving.
I'm still jumpy as hell. I didn't quite close a door and the other doors won't open if one is open. I escorted a lady while she did her detail work, (they like it when I go along because I'll help them with their cleaning) and we had to go through the kitchen and it was dark...I'm terrified of the dark and there is lots of mice and I have an irrational fear of mice...not rats, just mice and sudden unexpected sounds will send me into a terrible terror....I didn't close the door tight....and I heard a sound I never heard before...click click click, in a weird way....I suddenly realized I'm surrounded by bad people...and I scream a scream that would have made me millions had it been recorded for horror movies. The inmate laughed and I told her I'd never help her with her detail if she told anyone how I scream!
My days seem to be filled with many contradictions of life...perhaps that isn't the word I want...more like a Ying and Yang.
I'm now spending more of life in the sub-society and when not doing that, I'm surrounded by soccer mom's discussing Act 72, post prom preparations, talking shit on other people, college, the cost of bread, etc. etc..
The other night before I went to work, I stopped at Dawn Marie's. She hadn't seen me in uniform yet and I had on the whole shibang. When she opened her door, she busted out laughing and said I looked like a little kid dressed for Halloween.
That's okay...Vinny loves it when I stop over at Sandy's to get him after working the midnight to 8 shift. The first time Austin, Sandy's son, saw me in uniform his mouth literally dropped and he was as fascinated as Vinny with the handcuffs.
Sharon wants to see me in uniform...fat chance of that occurring...I refuse to go out in public with it on.
Wondering - 2008-10-26
emailing - 2007-06-11
Little This & Little That - 2007-03-23
SHOE - 2006-12-12
VINNY AND KNARLES - 2006-12-09
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