No More Crying
2005-06-17, 7:56 a.m.

I've been told that manic isn't good. I don't feel being depressed is good either. But what I fear the most is slipping back to being afraid to leave the house alone.
For years I haven't been able to sleep. I really never found it to be much of a problem, a little annoying, but never a problem. Even now I find it a bit more bothersome but not a problem.
I had asked my Doctor for a sleeping aid, he gave me one that he claimed they give to the soldiers who are required a good 8 before a mission.
I was unable to get the 8. Instead I was up twice, with panic attacks, because I could not think clearly nor get a grasp on the moment.
I told him about it the next day and dropped off my remaining prescription, (he sends them over-seas) and got a new prescription. That prescription left me feeling the effects for 2 days. So call again I did.
He told me I was having a psychosomatic reaction to the sleeping aids. Well, whatever, I know I have hypochondria tendencies, just give me something less controling. He did and now I'm happy I have the xanax again. And God help M@rtha when I work everyday with her next week!

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